Have you ever introduced yourself to someone new and literally couldn’t remember your own name because all you ever hear is MOM! If you’re like me, which I know some of you are, you kind of lost your identity when you had kids. I mean, not only did the little life suckers cause weight gain, stretch marks, and lack of sleep, but my identity too?! Nope, not today, Satan! (Okay, Satan might be a bit much, just felt right in the moment!)
Okay fine, I’ll admit it, I LOVE being a mom. Between all the fighting and crying (mostly from me) that my neighbors hear, my favorite thing in life is being with my kids. They are my world. But guess what, they aren’t who I am. And damn it, sometimes, a girl just needs a break! Can I get an Amen?!
[Disclaimer: Before you keep reading, I’m very aware that some moms get a lot more help from their S/O, parents, and babysitters, making it much easier for them to get “me time.” If you’re not one of those women, try “babysitter swapping” with other moms in your community; you watch their kids, and in return they can watch yours. And don’t ever be ashamed to ask for help. Even superwoman needs a break from saving the world sometimes.]
With that being said, I also know a lot of us moms have some pretty serious “mom guilt.” We don’t want to leave the kids to go out with friends, don’t want to take a vacation without them, don’t want to spend money on ourselves because we can buy something for them, the list goes on and on. But truth is, moms, if we are going to teach our kids how to love and respect themselves or others, we need to start with ourselves! I never want my children to think that they aren’t good enough. And I think that’s what mom guilt does. It makes us feel like we aren’t good enough to put ourselves first every once-in-awhile. And I know not everyone identifies “mom guilt” as taking separate vacations without kids. Mom guilt can be when we yell too much. But, for this purpose, I’m talking about the guilt we feel for having a life other than #momlife.
Just think about it, if just once a day we did something for ourselves, we would probably be a lot nicer to our kids. Happy mom=happy kids. If working out is your way of getting out and having “me time” then great! If me time to you is locking yourself in the bathroom, while they pound on the door, just so you can check social media for a hot second, don’t feel bad! I repeat, DO NOT FEEL BAD! Your kids will be fine for 5 minutes while you take some time to yourself. Unless they are like mine, they might burn the house down or kill each other by then. But still, their fault, not mine!
Or, if putting makeup on or fixing your hair, even when you’re just sitting around the house all day, makes you feel better- DO IT! Anything to make you feel like a real person other than just a mom, is good for you.
And to those full time working mamas- you deserve it too! I know that you aren’t with your kids as much as stay at home moms, but you still deserve time to yourself! As long as you have a good balance of work, family, and self-care, you will be much happier!
Moral of the story is, don’t lose yourself, your identity if you will, while raising your children. And let me just say, if it seems like I don’t really like being with my kids, please go to my Facebook or Instagram accounts, I’m a professional bragger! But I want to be happy and I want them to see that I’m happy, and sometimes that happiness comes from a Moms Night Out or sitting in the car for an extra 5 minutes after work, before walking into the chaos in my home! They need to see that mommy (or daddy for that matter) are real people with real lives outside of just them (and work.) And hopefully, one day, when/if they are parents themselves, they will do the same!