I do not talk politics. And I wouldn’t call this a “political” post, but I’m sure it will be the first to raise some eyebrows. There’s your warning.
Feminism [by definition]: the advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of equality of the sexes.
I have never thought of myself to be a “feminist,” mainly because of the way the media portrays feminism. I don’t march in women’s marches or wear hats that look like a hoo-ha. BUT, the older I get, the older my kids get, I’ve realized that one of the most important things I can teach them is equality; Equality of race, religion, disability, sexual orientation, and GENDER.
I have 4 kids- 3 girls and 1 boy, the baby. I am and have always been a girly girl. I LOVE dressing my girls up in the cutest clothes and of course, doing their hair in pig tails, braids and curls! But, I’ve always desperately wanted a boy. I wanted that mother-son connection. I wanted to watch my boy and his dad throw the ball in the front yard. And most of all, I wanted to raise a boy who knew how to respect a girl! After all, we could always use more gentlemen in this world!
After being a girl mom for 7 years, I finally became a boy mom too! It was just as wonderful as I had hoped. He was sweet, cuddly, and loved his mama, and his sisters adored him.
Then came the toddler stage. He likes to wrestle, throw tantrums like it’s nobody’s business, and never sits still. He is all boy, and I love it! BUT, with that being said, my boy loves to dance. He takes dance class and to be quite honest, kid’s got rhythm! He looks like a little surfer dude with his amber necklace, and on occasion, when he sees his sisters getting their nails painted, he wants his done as well. And yes, I love that about him too!
And then there’s my girls- 1 is a competitive dancer, 1 has more boy friends than girls, and the other is a tiny boss who will do anything to get what she wants. All 3 are totally different. All 3 have the potential to do anything they put their mind to, just like their brother. Each of them will know that I am behind them 100% in whatever they want to do in life. And I expect each of them to support each other as well.
When it comes to roles in the home, I’ll admit, there are things that I prefer Miguel do. None of them because he’s a man and I’m a woman. I literally just have no interest in doing certain things. And there are certain things that he prefer I do. In our house, our kids know that dad is the cook, and much better than me, and that he helps clean the house. They also see mom being a boss b*tch and trimming down trees in the back yard, lifting heavy things and taking out the trash. I don’t want there to be anything that my kids think that they can’t do because they are a girl or boy.
One thing that really bugs me is when people say “Boys don’t cry” or “You’re acting like a little girl!” Umm, I’m sorry, last time I checked EVERYBODY cries and I think my girls are pretty awesome, so I don’t know why acting like a girl is a bad thing. And my kids absolutely know I feel that way. I’ve caught my husband saying things like that too. I know he wants my son to be “tough” and doesn’t mean to say it in an offending way, but there’s a difference between being tough and being sexist. When my kids grow up (Lord willing, they will turn into wholesome adults) I want my son to be proud if he shows emotions. I also want my girls to feel a sense of joy when someone says “you’re acting like a girl!” I want them to have the exact same opportunities as my son, no matter the circumstance. And I want my son to want that for his sisters, and all other women too!
You can’t make a man without a woman’s body. And women can’t create a child without a man. We are literally equal when it comes to conceiving a human, boy or girl. And excuse me if this upsets anyone, but I think women are a *tiny* bit more superior when it comes to creating life in the womb and birth, since, well, we do it all. So, why then, aren’t women treated as equals in the world? Because as many women as I know who are doing the absolute freaking most and creating an amazing life, I know there are still people out there who think they are inferior.
It.Blows. My. Mind
And, maybe it’s not feminism that I’m concerned with. Maybe it’s Gender Equality in general. Either way, all I want, are my kids to be treated the same in any situation. That’s it. Period.
So, while I hope to watch my son score the winning touchdown on a Friday night someday, I will be just as proud to see him on the stage in a dance recital, or better yet, BOTH! And he will be raised to be proud of his sisters one day when one is dancing on Broadway, or becomes the CEO of a big company, or becomes a teacher who will help raise and enlighten young children. Whatever they want to do, I want them to be proud of each other. I want them to be proud of themselves. I hope all 4 of my kids use their voices to speak out for women’s rights, not because they are better, but because they are equal. Just like race, religion, disability, and sexual orientation, we all bleed the exact same color (unless of course you don’t, then I would definitely talk to a doctor!) We have just as many similarities as we do differences, which is incredible!
Now, let’s stop creating all the separation and treat each other EQUALLY like we should be treated.. like HUMANS!
The Meltdown Mama 